What is a Memorial Service?

Things you should know before you go:

What is a Memorial Service?
By Andrew Hodges
September 2005

Last month, we looked at the traditional funeral, which involves visitation and a funeral with the body present. This month, we will look at another option, the memorial service. This type of service means that the body of the deceased has been buried or cremated prior to a visitation or funeral.

When the family of the deceased requests burial or cremation immediately, they still have the option to view the body beforehand. If the family requests to view the body unembalmed, the funeral home will "set the features," which means that the funeral director will make the body presentable by closing the eyes and mouth, washing the body and wrapping it in a shroud or dressing it in clothes provided by the family.

But there will be some situations where the funeral director may recommend embalming, or not viewing the body at all, to the family. If the deceased was in a bad accident and a lot of damage was done, for example, it may be impossible to restore the body to a presentable state and it would be too jarring for the family to see. Also, if the deceased had a communicable disease, it may still be contagious after death. Lastly, certain conditions can increase the rate of the body's decomposition and it becomes difficult to restore the body to a recognizable state. In every situation, the funeral director will explain the reasons for his or her recommendation.

Families are not forced to view the body if they choose not to. There are two reasons why the funeral home will offer families a chance to view the deceased before cremation or burial. The first is to give the family a moment to acknowledge that the death has occurred. The other reason is more practical. Oftentimes in larger cities, funeral directors have to pick up bodies from a morgue and having a family member positively identify their deceased further ensures that there are no mistaken identities.

Visitation can still occur after burial or cremation, and the same decisions involving visitation and service as mentioned in last month's article come into play. Memorial services are a bit more flexible when it comes to location because there is only an urn or photo instead of a casket involved. Clergy, location and dates still depend on availability.

A slight twist on the memorial service is the graveside service, which is exactly what it sounds like - the service takes place at the grave in a cemetery instead of at the funeral home or church. A graveside service can be done with cremated remains in an urn or with a body in a casket and the cost is often similar to that of a memorial service.

Depending on the funeral home, the set-up by the grave may involve chairs, a podium and maybe a tent. As with any outdoor event, the weather can delay a graveside service, or postpone it until sunnier skies. Most of the cemeteries in the St. Marys area will not bury urns during the winter months due to the frozen ground, as urn graves are dug by hand. And, when it comes to casket burial, some small cemeteries will not bury during the winter because the cemetery may have hills that could cause a backhoe to slip or tip over, or the headstones are too close together to leave room for snow to be shovelled with enough space left for the backhoe to do its work.