The Visitation

Things you should know before you go:

The Visitation
By Andrew Hodges
June 2006

This article will look at the funeral visitation by explaining some different ways it can occur and give reasons for having one.

A visitation is a gathering of people prior to a funeral or memorial service. It can be a private family event, for the public or both. If a family requests to have both private and public visiting, most times that private gathering will take place the evening before the public visitation day or an hour or two on the same day before friends arrive.

A visitation can take place in any available space. Usually it takes place at a funeral home because it can accommodate many people, there is parking available and there is staff to help set up the room, handle family requests, receive memorial donations and clean up afterwards. However, there are times when visitations take place at a church, in either the sanctuary or in the church hall. Other options that may be available could be a community hall or family home, etc. When deciding on a location, it is best to consider the space for its ability to accommodate the needs of the family.

The body of the deceased may be present in either an open or closed casket. Otherwise, if cremation or burial has taken place there may be an urn set up at the front of the room and/or a picture of the person.

Flowers, additional pictures of the person and their family and friends and any memorabilia may also be arranged in the room to enhance the memories. Favourite music of the deceased playing in the background could be an option.

As far as a receiving line, some people prefer them and others can't stand them (literally). Most people have been to a visitation where people were lined out the door and perhaps onto the sidewalk. Those situations are pretty much unavoidable when there is a large circle of family and friends. However, if someone is attending a busy visitation and they are physically unable to stand for a long period of time, they can ask the funeral home staff to move them ahead or to the individual person in the family that they wish to see. The choice of having a receiving line is up to the family, but in most cases having one does allow for things flow smoother as people arrive.

Now and again some folks come into the funeral before, between or after the publicized visiting times to avoid crowds. If they are coming before the set times, the room may not be prepared to receive guests, the family may have requested that they are the first people to enter the room or the funeral home may have a policy that only immediate family can first enter the room to allow them time approve of the set-up. The best thing to do is call ahead and check.

Number of visitation periods and visiting times are choices given to the person(s) responsible for arranging the funeral. The usual 2 - 4 p.m. and 7 - 9 p.m. are the "usual" times, because it gives the family a break for dinner, and also gives flexibility for those who wish to pay their respects.

There are many reasons to have a visitation. If the body is present in either a open casket, closed casket, or urn, it allows people to let the reality sink in that the person has indeed died. It is also an opportunity for the community of family and friends to rally around each other, soon after the death, to lend support. That support can be received as a one on one conversation, flowers sent to the funeral home or by making a memorial donation to a favourite charity. All of those acts allow the surviving family, friends and community at large to realize that they are not alone in their time of mourning.