Introduction

Things you should know before you go

Introduction to the series of articles
By Andrew Hodges
July 2005

It is my pleasure to introduce this article that will educate the public on funerals and other issues related to death.

But why do we need to know about death?

The simple answer is that we all have to deal with the death of a loved one, not to mention our own mortality, at some point in our lives. We will have to deal with arranging a funeral and settling an estate while coming to terms with our own emotions.

Our culture doesn't like to talk about dying - we prefer to defy our age and live every day to its fullest. Our society is commercially youth driven and the life expectancy is higher than that of other areas of the world. Also, death in the western world is professionalized. Taking care of an ill loved one was the responsibility of families and friends, not hospitals. And when a loved one died, there was no such thing as a funeral home to take care of the final farewell. In today's world, however, most of us do not see what goes on during the final stages of life, and so death has become a mystery.

Funeral directors, such as myself, also share the blame for professionalizing death. Few people know what happens between the time of death and the start of a funeral visitation. Television shows and movies sometimes give us a peek, but it's usually shown in that stereotyped way of making funeral homes out to be seamy operations run by old, uncaring men. Also, when funeral homes do turn up in the news, it's usually for something negative - controversy makes for better headlines.

Simply put, there are a lot of unknowns associated with death and funerals. And where there are unknowns people tend to fill in the blanks with misconceptions. It is my responsibility as a funeral director to help people when death touches their lives. But it is also my responsibility to help people understand what happens and what options are available. I want to replace the unknowns with knowledge and to give the living more control when it comes to the uncontrollable force of death.

This article will appear once a month and will expand on these topics:

• The many types of funeral services available today
• Explaining each stage following death and the parts of a funeral
• Explain: funeral costs, embalming, cremation, caskets, burial plots and cemetery monuments
• The importance of a last will and testament
• Preplanning funerals
• Past & present theories on grief
• Working through grief
• Talking to children about death
• Discussing issues surrounding suicide, death of a child and other stigmatized deaths
• Learning how different cultures deal with death